And while we should demand them to keep doing so, we should also take advantage of what CSR reporting is offering right now, because with all of its flaws, it is still the only corporate report with personality you will have a chance to read for better or for worse.
Santa doesn't want to get married, so this is a double opportunity. In a few months' time, we can announce Santa Wedding Cancellation Memorabilia.
The Royal Family is always a good source of inspiration. Also in we decided to renew our mission and values. Here are the old ones we developed in In the interests of brevity, we have decided to reduce our values to two. In this way, we can use our new values to more effectively guide us in our mission and enjoy all the fuzzy feelings that are generated when people hear us talking about sustainability.
In fact, as a result of the UK Brexit vote, we have moved all our toy assembly centers out of the UK and transferred them to other parts of the Eurozone. If you are a kid in the UK, you will now receive toys saying "Fabriqué en France" or "Hergestellt in Deutschland" together with a language pack for reading the instructions in another language. But don't worry, all the carbon emissions generated by long-hauling toys across Europe will be offset by funds generously donated by Berlitz.
In this harmonized report, we have recreated our new materiality matrix, recognizing that our GRI, SASB, IR, Future Fit and UNGC Reporting framework must now appeal to shareholders, stakeholders, landholders, smallholders, cardholders, freeholders, pen-holders, upholders and with-holders.
After 23 elf and reindeer focus groups, and of course our assumptions about what's important to our stakeholders, we managed to whittle this down to just 4 topics that represent our most material impacts on the world and the most significant assumed concerns of stakeholders, and taking into account the SDGs as well.
Santa's well-being World happiness especially in Lapland Elimination of everything bad in the world including hunger, poverty, sickness, lying, cheating and Santa counterfeits Free distribution of money to everyone who needs it especially Santa Based on this list of material topics, we have formulated a new Sustainability Strategy.
It's quite a simple one. If Santa is not at the center, it doesn't count. We will progress actions that advance Santa centricity and provide solutions to the material topics above. An initial step will be to build a wall around Lapland to restrict immigration of unwanted elves and then we will declare war on a few countries.
In this way, we will make beneficial Santa Domination far more sustainable for current and future generations. As you may know, the UNGC is now offering two new ways of confirming support for the largest global responsible business initiative. You can become a new-style first-class Participant and pay lots of money, or you can become a second-class Signatory and pay less lots of money. What you cannot do is stay as you are and pay no money.
This is a wonderful approach to giving. All the 8, plus business signatories of the UNGC will now have to pass on a part of their bank balance to the UN account or be reduced to oblivion, wiped forever off the face of the UNGC website. Santa thinks this is a wonderful approach to giving for Therefore, effective next year, those who are eligible to receive a gift from Santa will first have to register as a Receiver or an Observer.
As a Receiver, you get to pay lots of money and receive a toy that you can play with anywhere you like. As an Observer, you get to pay less lots of money, you get a toy but you are not actually allowed to play with it outside your own home.
This is a modern way of spreading the Christmas spirit and enables everyone to enjoy the goodness in the world, for a fee. In this way, Santa will be able to continue to enjoy the lifestyle to which he is accustomed and the UNGC will continue to be able to hold conferences and meetings and have a blast on Black Friday.
New App for iPhone X: Apple Pay transactions are becoming exceedingly common, and parting with your money has never been easier. Having discovered the benefits of Apple Pay, Santa saw a clear opportunity to develop a way for people around the globe to painlessly support world salvation, environmental sustainability and Santa Domination.
With the new Santa Pay app specially designed for iPhone X, no matter what you buy or where you buy it or from whom, a portion of your payment goes directly to the Santa Retirement Fund. In an unprecedented mega-deal with Apple, all sales of the new iPhone X will contain a special spiritual Santa Pay message, advising the new iPhone X owner that all toys purchased this Christmas through Apple Pay will automatically create a double transaction, whereby the equivalent value of an additional toy will be debited in parallel to Santa Pay.
Unfortunately, due to climate change, the island Santa had in mind is now partly submerged in the Caribbean Sea. In addition, therefore, to stocking up on mince pies and Hallmark Christmas movie DVDs to enjoy during his retirement, Santa is investing in land reclamation technology, a desalination plant and several snorkels.
A new Santa Blockchain Initiative As the blockchain economy is starting to gain ground, Santa has been considering how best to leverage blockchain for the benefit of children everywhere.
Unfortunately, blockchain is so complex that Santa hasn't quite got to grips with it yet. His first attempt to create a blockchain failed when the block fell off the sleigh and the reindeer ate the chain. The second attempt was equally unsuccessful. The block was chipped and the chain slipped off and got caught around Santa's ankle, causing him to fall and break three bones in his foot. As a result, the Santa Claus Inc. Lost-Time Injury rate tripled in The incident in which fourteen elves were found dead following a fire in the toy factory was not recorded in , as there was some doubt as to whether the cause of death was actually the fire, or a suicide pact among senior elves.
Elves were protesting against distribution of bitcoins instead of real toys at Christmas, reducing the need for toy assembly, quality control and distribution and therefore reducing several elf jobs. Despite attempts to reassure the senior elves that job security would not be affected by the introduction of bitcoins, many elves suffered severe depression and set fire to both the factory and themselves.
However, Santa was not overly worried, as the elf headcount has now reduced sufficiently to avoid significant layoffs in According to Santa, bitcoins are the new toys, and children of the world can collect bitcoins and trade them, thereby offering children great flexibility and choice for their personal entertainment and leisure time while having a positive impact on the environment.
Unfortunately, the first , bitcoins distributed were triple-traded by cryptocurrency-savvy kids who circumvented the blockchain. This resulted in the market being flooded with invalid bitcoins and ultimately crashing - reducing the value of all bitcoins to little more than zero.
Many bitcoin traders lost their jobs, their homes and their dignity. Several bitcoin trading houses closed down and the U. People were evicted from homes they bought with bitcoins. A senior commentator likened this to the economic crisis of and blamed greed, excess and selfishness. Santa was initially devastated but eventually realized that bitcoin fraud is simply another capitalist scam that forces people to realize that family, friends, love, harmony and joy to the world are actually more important than amassing great virtual wealth.
Therefore, Santa reverted to supplying real toys distributed by real elves and real reindeer to real kids in the real world. Of course, he kept a few bitcoins back for himself, just in case. Bitcoins and blockchains may be a little before their time, but Santa plans to be ahead of the game when they come back to dominate our economy.
Reporting on the capitals. As this is a harmonized report, we include a special feature for the very first time, covering our impact on the capitals.
We are not entirely sure that this is a sensible way to report performance, nor does Santa think it represents a consistent way of presenting value creation. However, as modern, forward-thinking, good-life-appreciating stakeholders like to talk in capitals, we decided to fall in line.
This represents the financial value we create for our shareholders and communities. Of course, as you all know Santa Claus Inc. Therefore, we do not have revenues, we do not pay taxes and we do not manage working capital or cash flow. Indirectly, we contribute to improving financial capital by making people happy. Happy people are more motivated at work and therefore make more money for the world economy.
We do not have any manufacturing capital as all the toys we distribute are manufactured by someone else. Our elves do some toy assembly work, but this is mainly reserved for elf interns who we do not pay.
In lieu of payment, all interns are treated to a personal meeting with Santa each year and can include working at Santa Claus Inc. We do not have any human capital as all our work is performed by elves and reindeer.
We did once think of hiring humans but most did not want to relocate to Lapland, and several did not have chimney sweeping skills. The value we create in terms of human capital at a global level is indirect: Of course, we do have a plan to stop distributing toy rifles, fidget spinners and waitress uniforms. Social and relationship capital: Our social and relationship capital is expressed in the positive partnerships that Santa forges with toy suppliers everywhere in the world.
Santa's ability to persuade toy-makers to contribute their goods for free every year represents an unprecedented level of social capital that results in happy kids everywhere. Except for the ones that asked for iPhone X's in their Christmas stocking. We don't have intellectual capital and frankly we don't need it. In any case, we aren't entirely sure how to measure it. We just continue to spread joy and goodwill - for that we need a big heart and not a very big brain.
Santa did once consider joining MENSA but they refused to approve his application after he responded "ice cream" to the question: Our impact on natural capital is minimal.
Over several years, we have reduced our carbon footprint through use of renewable reindeer power for our sleighs, low-methane diets for our reindeer and carpooling for our elves. We only use water from recycled melted local Lapland ice and we recycle all our packaging and other organic waste.
Our bathrooms use dry-flush and our faucets are metered. Therefore, our natural capital is hardly noticeable and there is nothing terribly interesting to disclose. Ah well, so much for reporting on all the capitals. I am sure you found that very enlightening. However, at least we cannot be accused of not joining the integrated reporting revolution rumor.
Business development - Santa diversification In , Santa developed several new business lines designed to ensure the Santa brand continues to be top of mind and top of credit card.
A few of our new sustainable business lines are just getting started: Santa Eco Spa and Relaxation Resort: Relax in an authentic, elegant, secluded getaway on Santa's private eco-island in the Caribbean. Immerse yourself in nature in a fully carbon-offset environment where the locals pamper to your every need unless you are sparing with the tips. Whether you are looking for a sumptuous spa experience, expansive green golf courses, exhilarating tennis, visits to a live volcano don't forget to buy insurance or spending a quiet evening watching Hallmark Christmas movies on DVD, Santa's Eco Resort has something for you.
Santa personally greets each guest and models the latest Santa fashions for you to purchase for your next Christmas Party. Lose weight with a new line of delicious Santa Cookies that reverse the metabolic process of calorie burning in your body. Instead of gaining weight, Santa's cookies actually cause the reverse effect - the more cookies you eat, the more weight you lose.
The cookie has been developed by an army of Santa elf scientists and nutritionists after years of dedicated research in an attempt to fulfill the most wished-for Christmas gift - getting slim. Now, with Santa's Cookies, available in a range of flavors charcoal, sour milk, toad's finger, bat droppings , you can consume cookies till you burst and still be able to slip easily into last year's skinny jeans. With recipes under patent, Santa's Cookies will revolutionize weight loss and finally put an end to the growing obesity epidemic that has been plaguing the first world since McDonald's invented fries and food companies learned to drown food's natural flavor in sugar.
Santa has signed up to star in two new Shondaland series: Both will air in , and while we are not allowed to share any spoilers, suffice it to say that the first is a storyline about Santa delivering toys to the White House, and the second is X rated.
Sexual Harassment - Santa under fire Like most of today's male celebrities and prominent political figures, Santa too has been under fire for alleged sexual misconduct. Following a complaint by a now retired female elf of inappropriate personal contact and sexist language by Santa, a further 4, female elves have now registered complaints with the Santa Ethical Conduct Authority for misconduct between the years and Santa maintains that he has the highest respect for all his elves, male and female, and has no recollection of any inappropriate behavior on his part.
Santa apologizes if any of the elves got the wrong impression at any time as he would never wish to offend. Litigation is ongoing but in the meantime, Santa expects to continue delivering toys and making children happy. He is hoping that, if he continues with business as usual, it will all just go away.
The fact that the new hashtag MeToo: Elf is trending on Twitter might indicate that this strategy has some holes in it. Neurodiverse people bring different considerations to the workplace and seriously boost innovation. When looking for neurodiverse elves, we found that we had to adapt our regular recruitment procedures.
Now, instead of having elf candidates take a multiple-choice test, similar to the GRI Standards Exam, which is a pretty useless predictor of their ability to perform Santa's outstanding work, we actually get to know the neurodiverse elves and encourage them to feel welcomed and express themselves freely. So far, we have recruited 4 neurodiverse elves and they are already making a positive contribution and we were delighted to feature in Diversity Inc.
In fact, we are now considering expanding our neurodiverse recruiting practices to all potential elf employees. Perhaps there might be some advantage in seeing all potential employees as individuals rather than as numbers on a resume. We can only try. Recognition from our Stakeholders.
As usual, this year, we received far more awards than we are able to mention in this report. Suffice it to say that the most welcome ones included a cash payment to the Santa Retirement Fund. Feedback on this Report. We will be happy to receive your feedback on this report, as long as it's positive. Please subscribe via email Enter your email address: Say hi to me here? Got my judging hat on Check out my chapter! My new new book! Next Generation Sustainability Reporting.
My old new book!! Environmental responsibility means that a company is perceived to produce environmental-friendly, ecological, and non-harmful products". An article published in Forbes. RI monitors social responsibility reputations by focusing on perception of consumers regarding company governance,  positive impact on the community and society, and treatment of the workforce. According to the CSR Journal, the millennial generation worldwide helps propel brands toward social responsibility.
Many millennials want to conduct business with companies and trademarks that employ pro-social themes,  sustainable manufacturing processes,  and ethical business practices. This organization believes all citizens in the United States must be held liable in ensuring democracy works for all people. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This section does not cite any sources. Please help improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.
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